Letters to the people I come across everyday

Dear...

...Girl who talks on her cell phone on her way to/from class,

Like, OMG. As if I was not already annoyed by your ugly boots or spandex pants (it is January by the way), your sorority bag, and your unnecessarily large and expensive sunglasses (it was also cloudy today), you really crossed the line with your phone conversation with your girlfriend. Honestly, I really felt sorry for you that your professor assigned you a paper. That almost never happens to students. About this paper though, if it is an English paper, GET OVER IT. Everybody has to take English and everybody has to write papers. If it is a paper for one of your classes in your designated area of study, SUCK IT UP. You chose this path of education, so you really should not be complaining. Just go shopping.

P.S. If the reason you are on your phone is because you are afraid to get mugged (or raped) and want someone to know immediately when you are trouble, then you should also know that rarely anybody gets mugged (or raped) at 9 am.

...Guy (or dumb blond) who does not hold the door open for me,

You know I am right behind you. You even turned around to give me a dirty look when I coughed or sneezed or made any sound at all. What is so hard about just taking two seconds to hold out your arm or even push the door back just a few more inches? I was like four feet behind you anyway. What is worse is that there are two sets of doors to get into the lobby! Jeez.

...Awkward kid in my one class,

It is called Kleenex. Use it.