Monday, September 8, 2008

Letters 4

Dear Guy Wearing an Athletic Headband as Part of His Outfit,

I am walking home from class at 10 AM, and there is no way that the temperature is out of the 50s. You cannot possibly be working up a sweat in this kind of weather; I am still cold wearing my jacket. It is not like you are wearing it over your ears to maybe keep them warm, and if you did, then that would be more reason to want to slap you in the face. In what way did you think wearing a headband would make you look presentable? You are walking to class, not to the SAC. Plus, you are skinnier than I am and in no way an athlete or even an occasional activity-doer.

Dear Girls Walking Slow... In the Rain,

Yet again, you take up the entire sidewalk and block me from passing you. But today is different. It is raining. I have no umbrella, unlike all three of you who use it to take up even more space on the sidewalk. I also am not wearing a jacket because it was not raining when I left for class and hoped for the best that it would not rain again. Mostly because I am wearing my freakin' sweet Quebec Nordiques t-shirt. MY FREAKIN' SWEET QUEBEC NORDIQUES T-SHIRT!!! IT'S BLUE AND HAS THE FLEUR DE LIS AROUND THE BOTTOM!!! This is not a shirt that I want to get wet. As soon as we get to a puddle, I'm splashing your bare feet. PS. Why are you wearing flip flops in the rain? You were smart enough to grab an umbrella but not put shoes on?

Dear Guy Playing the Air Drums While Listening to His iPod,

Oh man, I truly dig that beat. Even if you are completely out of tempo. Yes, I can tell.