Dear Guy Wearing an Athletic Headband as Part of His Outfit,
I am walking home from class at 10 AM, and there is no way that the temperature is out of the 50s. You cannot possibly be working up a sweat in this kind of weather; I am still cold wearing my jacket. It is not like you are wearing it over your ears to maybe keep them warm, and if you did, then that would be more reason to want to slap you in the face. In what way did you think wearing a headband would make you look presentable? You are walking to class, not to the SAC. Plus, you are skinnier than I am and in no way an athlete or even an occasional activity-doer.
Dear Girls Walking Slow... In the Rain,
Yet again, you take up the entire sidewalk and block me from passing you. But today is different. It is raining. I have no umbrella, unlike all three of you who use it to take up even more space on the sidewalk. I also am not wearing a jacket because it was not raining when I left for class and hoped for the best that it would not rain again. Mostly because I am wearing my freakin' sweet Quebec Nordiques t-shirt. MY FREAKIN' SWEET QUEBEC NORDIQUES T-SHIRT!!! IT'S BLUE AND HAS THE FLEUR DE LIS AROUND THE BOTTOM!!! This is not a shirt that I want to get wet. As soon as we get to a puddle, I'm splashing your bare feet. PS. Why are you wearing flip flops in the rain? You were smart enough to grab an umbrella but not put shoes on?
Dear Guy Playing the Air Drums While Listening to His iPod,
Oh man, I truly dig that beat. Even if you are completely out of tempo. Yes, I can tell.
Monday, September 8, 2008
Friday, July 18, 2008
An Examination of a Phrase (1)
I put a "(1)" in front of this in hopes that I will do this more often.
The general format of these posts is to take a phrase, either everyday, commonly used or something i have heard somewhere at sometime. I will give some meanings behind it, and then examine the phrase from my perspective. Here we go.
"Today is Opposite Day"
Now, some days have claimed the title "Opposite Day," where things are done the exact opposite of what is the normal. Instead of saying "hello" while greeting somebody, you would say "goodbye." You would walk backwards instead of forwards. Wear your shoes on opposite feet. Etc.
Instance #1: Today really is Opposite Day
If that really is the case, then saying "Today is Opposite Day" has completely ruined the purpose of having an Opposite Day. In fact, saying "Today is Opposite Day" on Opposite Day means that it is NOT Opposite Day, and that either makes you a liar or creates a paradox. However, if saying that is IS Opposite Day on Opposite Day makes it not Opposite Day, then the statement immediately returns to its truthful state that today is Opposite Day after all. Whew.
Instance #2: Today is not Opposite Day after all
So saying "Today is Opposite Day" when it is not Opposite Day may be a trick into thinking that it is Opposite Day, and thus believing that it is Opposite Day can in fact make it Opposite Day. Here is the kicker though, saying "Today is Opposite Day" on a non-Opposite Day day can in fact mean that it is Opposite Day by jumping through all sorts of hoops that can only be understood through a vast diagram of scenarios (of which I am too lazy to plot out, but maybe someday).
After this long winded examination of the phrase "Today is Opposite Day," I have deduced that there is no Opposite Day at all; it is impossible. Sorry to kill all the fun, but if you ever celebrate Opposite Day, just know that you are living a lie.
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Letters 3
Dear Jerk who drives the speed limit,
First things first: this is Michigan, whatever the speed limit says, add 5 or 10 to it and drive it. Okay? I should not look at my speedometer and have it tell me I am driving anything less than 25 mph ANYWHERE. But when I am stuck behind you, on Catalpa, in the summer, school has been out for a month, I should not be catching up to your ass while cruising. When I get stuck behind you right after Woodward, that is worse. That means I have to follow you all the way back to my house. Let me check how fast you are going; 16 mother-f***ing miles per hour?!?? Are you really Sh*tting me? I JUST GOT OFF WORK AND I WANT TO EAT HURRY THE F UP. Jeez.
Dear Stupid people I work with,
I could care less about whatever the hell you are talking to me about. Really. Your step-son? Don't care. You are going to play some crappy video game when you get home? Don't care. Your children don't do their chores and have an attitude? Really don't freakin' care. Next time you try to say something to me, if I have not already stopped listening, I am either going to tell you straight up that I do not care or I will just walk away while you are talking. I have had more than enough.
Dear Call of Duty 4 player who throws a random grenade over three walls, a building, a street, a truck, some boxes, and a river, just to have it land directly under my feet,
THERE IS NO WAY YOU KNEW I WAS THERE. HOW THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT?
First things first: this is Michigan, whatever the speed limit says, add 5 or 10 to it and drive it. Okay? I should not look at my speedometer and have it tell me I am driving anything less than 25 mph ANYWHERE. But when I am stuck behind you, on Catalpa, in the summer, school has been out for a month, I should not be catching up to your ass while cruising. When I get stuck behind you right after Woodward, that is worse. That means I have to follow you all the way back to my house. Let me check how fast you are going; 16 mother-f***ing miles per hour?!?? Are you really Sh*tting me? I JUST GOT OFF WORK AND I WANT TO EAT HURRY THE F UP. Jeez.
Dear Stupid people I work with,
I could care less about whatever the hell you are talking to me about. Really. Your step-son? Don't care. You are going to play some crappy video game when you get home? Don't care. Your children don't do their chores and have an attitude? Really don't freakin' care. Next time you try to say something to me, if I have not already stopped listening, I am either going to tell you straight up that I do not care or I will just walk away while you are talking. I have had more than enough.
Dear Call of Duty 4 player who throws a random grenade over three walls, a building, a street, a truck, some boxes, and a river, just to have it land directly under my feet,
THERE IS NO WAY YOU KNEW I WAS THERE. HOW THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT?
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Awesome!
So I use the word "awesome" a lot. Like a lot.
awe·some [aw-suhm]
–adjective 1. inspiring awe: an awesome sight.
2. showing or characterized by awe.
3. Slang. very impressive: That new white convertible is totally awesome.
I use the word exactly how it should be used. But as of late, I feel that since I speak it so often (and I mean very frequently) that I have softened its effect on what it describes.
Here are a few examples of how I use the word "awesome:"
1. Metal Gear Solid 4 was awesome!
2. That home run by Thames was awesome!
3. Boobs are awesome!
4. Working at a plastic factory is awesome!
Okay, that last one was sheer sarcasm. Obviously, though, the first three are perfect examples of how the word should be used. There are sometimes where there is no better way of expressing the fact of something great other than it being awesome.
Some of these examples of things not so high on the awesome list, but still holding a smaller level of awesomeness:
1. Going to school at Central is awesome.
2. Finally writing more in my blogs is awesome.
3. Mario Kart Wii is pretty awesome.
4. Working at a plastic factory is awesome.
No, it is not. Working at a plastic factory is awful.
Don't get me wrong; I love Central, I love writing about things I care about, and I love Mario Kart Wii (it gives my dad a chance to win sometimes). Now when I compare these three to the first list, you can see how much more awesome some things are than others.
Boobs > Blogs
Duh.
So what I am trying to get across is how I will cut back on the use of "awesome" for things designated for sheer awesomeness; things that surpass most on an awesome scale. It may take some training to do that, but I will try my best.
Now how awesome is that?
awe·some [aw-suhm]
–adjective 1. inspiring awe: an awesome sight.
2. showing or characterized by awe.
3. Slang. very impressive: That new white convertible is totally awesome.
I use the word exactly how it should be used. But as of late, I feel that since I speak it so often (and I mean very frequently) that I have softened its effect on what it describes.
Here are a few examples of how I use the word "awesome:"
1. Metal Gear Solid 4 was awesome!
2. That home run by Thames was awesome!
3. Boobs are awesome!
4. Working at a plastic factory is awesome!
Okay, that last one was sheer sarcasm. Obviously, though, the first three are perfect examples of how the word should be used. There are sometimes where there is no better way of expressing the fact of something great other than it being awesome.
Some of these examples of things not so high on the awesome list, but still holding a smaller level of awesomeness:
1. Going to school at Central is awesome.
2. Finally writing more in my blogs is awesome.
3. Mario Kart Wii is pretty awesome.
4. Working at a plastic factory is awesome.
No, it is not. Working at a plastic factory is awful.
Don't get me wrong; I love Central, I love writing about things I care about, and I love Mario Kart Wii (it gives my dad a chance to win sometimes). Now when I compare these three to the first list, you can see how much more awesome some things are than others.
Boobs > Blogs
Duh.
So what I am trying to get across is how I will cut back on the use of "awesome" for things designated for sheer awesomeness; things that surpass most on an awesome scale. It may take some training to do that, but I will try my best.
Now how awesome is that?
Friday, June 20, 2008
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
An Experiment
So you may remember that I hate my right shoe. Despite the fact, I use it from now on as a symbol.
Today the shoelace came untied twice in my Design class. I was sitting down.
This is what keeps me up at night, why I have nightmares and why I wake up in cold sweats.
Anyways, I had the idea of keeping a record or when and where my right shoe comes untied. I will carry with me a miniature notepad to class, and when it happens I will write when, where, and what I was doing at the time of its untying.
Starting tomorrow, March 12, 2008, I will begin this experiment to see if I can figure out just why this happens. It will go on for a month and end on Saturday April 12, 2008. I will post the final data and attach an analysis that deals with my data. If one month does not yield sufficient amounts of data, I will add weeks to the experiment until I am pleased.
But with my right shoe coming undone, I will never be truly pleased.
Today the shoelace came untied twice in my Design class. I was sitting down.
This is what keeps me up at night, why I have nightmares and why I wake up in cold sweats.
Anyways, I had the idea of keeping a record or when and where my right shoe comes untied. I will carry with me a miniature notepad to class, and when it happens I will write when, where, and what I was doing at the time of its untying.
Starting tomorrow, March 12, 2008, I will begin this experiment to see if I can figure out just why this happens. It will go on for a month and end on Saturday April 12, 2008. I will post the final data and attach an analysis that deals with my data. If one month does not yield sufficient amounts of data, I will add weeks to the experiment until I am pleased.
But with my right shoe coming undone, I will never be truly pleased.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
My Right Shoe
So I hate tying my shoes. Instead I leave them on a single knot loosely so I can slide in and out easily. These are very comfortable shoes, mind you. They were my tennis shoes senior year of high school and as of last summer, they were promoted to the everyday shoes after their predecessors took a lot of wear and tear up north.
These shoes are loosing traction, and that makes it difficult this winter on Central's super icy sidewalks. The back of the heal is tearing past its first layer of shoe material from the walking in loosely tied shoes. But I would rather be comfortable with my shoes and leave them in these loosely tied single knots.
Why would I not double knot them? Well, I feel like double knotting is for people who are not secure with their shoes or themselves (yeah, that was so deep). Actually, I just never saw the need to double knot my shoes.
Until recently.
My right shoe has come untied numerous times this past month. It boggles the mind. Only the right shoe. I dislike it very much. I feel very out of whack having to lean down to retie the shoe, since in the past the shoes have held together so well.
It is an odd feeling tying my shoe, which goes with other odd feelings of doing something after a long break:
- Handwriting
- Guitar Hero
- Playing tennis
- Driving
- Insulting James (but boy does that feel good)
- Actually doing homework
Most upsetting though, is that it is my right shoe. I am predominantly a right handed person. I use my left brain more than the right anyway. If it were my left shoe, then I could exercise my right brain for a chance.
As I shoot the evil eye at my right shoe as I type, I can only sense when that jerk will come undone next; walking to class, climbing up stairs, randomly sitting down, it is not definite, but it will happen. And when it does, all I can do is curse the bugger and retie him tightly.
In a single knot. Using the bunny ear method.
UPDATE: My right shoe came untied the day after this post. I was climbing the stairs, as predicted.
These shoes are loosing traction, and that makes it difficult this winter on Central's super icy sidewalks. The back of the heal is tearing past its first layer of shoe material from the walking in loosely tied shoes. But I would rather be comfortable with my shoes and leave them in these loosely tied single knots.
Why would I not double knot them? Well, I feel like double knotting is for people who are not secure with their shoes or themselves (yeah, that was so deep). Actually, I just never saw the need to double knot my shoes.
Until recently.
My right shoe has come untied numerous times this past month. It boggles the mind. Only the right shoe. I dislike it very much. I feel very out of whack having to lean down to retie the shoe, since in the past the shoes have held together so well.
It is an odd feeling tying my shoe, which goes with other odd feelings of doing something after a long break:
- Handwriting
- Guitar Hero
- Playing tennis
- Driving
- Insulting James (but boy does that feel good)
- Actually doing homework
Most upsetting though, is that it is my right shoe. I am predominantly a right handed person. I use my left brain more than the right anyway. If it were my left shoe, then I could exercise my right brain for a chance.
As I shoot the evil eye at my right shoe as I type, I can only sense when that jerk will come undone next; walking to class, climbing up stairs, randomly sitting down, it is not definite, but it will happen. And when it does, all I can do is curse the bugger and retie him tightly.
In a single knot. Using the bunny ear method.
UPDATE: My right shoe came untied the day after this post. I was climbing the stairs, as predicted.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Letters 2
Dear Slow Walker,
I put it frankly, but you walk incredibly slow. I know you are also going to class, whether it be you go alone or with your other slow walking friends. Pick up the pace. I am already running late, and I bet my class is farther away than yours. Neither of us will make it in time, thanks to your one step ever second and a half. This sidewalk is only wide enough for about two people anyway, and you manage to shoot straight down the middle making the pass on either side impossible. Also, do you have eyes in the back of your head?? You seem to always sway to the side which I attempt to make my move, but am ultimately cut off. My long legs cannot take this snail's pace any longer.
Dear pre-gaming girls next door who listen to hip-hop music and speaking loudly while the three of you are in the bathroom,
We are more disgusted by your lifestyle than the offenses against us. Your music is terrible. And it is terribly loud. On some days I can hear it from my bedroom; the problem is you are on the complete other side of our dorm room. It is also uncomfortable to hear you all carry on a pointless conversation while I am doing my business. Your pre-gaming sometimes just turns into the game itself and you fail to leave us in peace and quiet. Have you even wondered why we have never introduced ourselves to you despite the fact that you live right next door? I hardly agree with the sign on your door claiming that one of you is "the baddest." If that is true, Adonis therefore must be "the second baddest."
Dear 13-year-old Halo 3 gamer,
Enough with the profanity. You so effing pwned.
I put it frankly, but you walk incredibly slow. I know you are also going to class, whether it be you go alone or with your other slow walking friends. Pick up the pace. I am already running late, and I bet my class is farther away than yours. Neither of us will make it in time, thanks to your one step ever second and a half. This sidewalk is only wide enough for about two people anyway, and you manage to shoot straight down the middle making the pass on either side impossible. Also, do you have eyes in the back of your head?? You seem to always sway to the side which I attempt to make my move, but am ultimately cut off. My long legs cannot take this snail's pace any longer.
Dear pre-gaming girls next door who listen to hip-hop music and speaking loudly while the three of you are in the bathroom,
We are more disgusted by your lifestyle than the offenses against us. Your music is terrible. And it is terribly loud. On some days I can hear it from my bedroom; the problem is you are on the complete other side of our dorm room. It is also uncomfortable to hear you all carry on a pointless conversation while I am doing my business. Your pre-gaming sometimes just turns into the game itself and you fail to leave us in peace and quiet. Have you even wondered why we have never introduced ourselves to you despite the fact that you live right next door? I hardly agree with the sign on your door claiming that one of you is "the baddest." If that is true, Adonis therefore must be "the second baddest."
Dear 13-year-old Halo 3 gamer,
Enough with the profanity. You so effing pwned.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Letters to the people I come across everyday
Dear...
...Girl who talks on her cell phone on her way to/from class,
Like, OMG. As if I was not already annoyed by your ugly boots or spandex pants (it is January by the way), your sorority bag, and your unnecessarily large and expensive sunglasses (it was also cloudy today), you really crossed the line with your phone conversation with your girlfriend. Honestly, I really felt sorry for you that your professor assigned you a paper. That almost never happens to students. About this paper though, if it is an English paper, GET OVER IT. Everybody has to take English and everybody has to write papers. If it is a paper for one of your classes in your designated area of study, SUCK IT UP. You chose this path of education, so you really should not be complaining. Just go shopping.
P.S. If the reason you are on your phone is because you are afraid to get mugged (or raped) and want someone to know immediately when you are trouble, then you should also know that rarely anybody gets mugged (or raped) at 9 am.
...Guy (or dumb blond) who does not hold the door open for me,
You know I am right behind you. You even turned around to give me a dirty look when I coughed or sneezed or made any sound at all. What is so hard about just taking two seconds to hold out your arm or even push the door back just a few more inches? I was like four feet behind you anyway. What is worse is that there are two sets of doors to get into the lobby! Jeez.
...Awkward kid in my one class,
It is called Kleenex. Use it.
...Girl who talks on her cell phone on her way to/from class,
Like, OMG. As if I was not already annoyed by your ugly boots or spandex pants (it is January by the way), your sorority bag, and your unnecessarily large and expensive sunglasses (it was also cloudy today), you really crossed the line with your phone conversation with your girlfriend. Honestly, I really felt sorry for you that your professor assigned you a paper. That almost never happens to students. About this paper though, if it is an English paper, GET OVER IT. Everybody has to take English and everybody has to write papers. If it is a paper for one of your classes in your designated area of study, SUCK IT UP. You chose this path of education, so you really should not be complaining. Just go shopping.
P.S. If the reason you are on your phone is because you are afraid to get mugged (or raped) and want someone to know immediately when you are trouble, then you should also know that rarely anybody gets mugged (or raped) at 9 am.
...Guy (or dumb blond) who does not hold the door open for me,
You know I am right behind you. You even turned around to give me a dirty look when I coughed or sneezed or made any sound at all. What is so hard about just taking two seconds to hold out your arm or even push the door back just a few more inches? I was like four feet behind you anyway. What is worse is that there are two sets of doors to get into the lobby! Jeez.
...Awkward kid in my one class,
It is called Kleenex. Use it.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Start Anew
This blog will most definitely stay away from Star Wars and video games, although the latter is likely to appear in the form of things I must do to further my career. That was the little disclaimer part.
I realized I need to be writing more, seeing as how I am a journalism major, so I have got this as my escape. It is a fairly simple URL, but it fits so I can still sound more professional than I really need to be. Again, the whole "flyingisfordroids" is there because that is a more relaxed and hobby-full blog that I should return to some of these days. Hopefully I can remember to update both of these possibly three or four times a week. It should not be too hard; my weekends start at 3:30 on Thursdays and most of my classes are labs, so homework will rarely interfere on a major level.
(This constantly spinning advertisement on my buddy list is so angering me.)
I realized I need to be writing more, seeing as how I am a journalism major, so I have got this as my escape. It is a fairly simple URL, but it fits so I can still sound more professional than I really need to be. Again, the whole "flyingisfordroids" is there because that is a more relaxed and hobby-full blog that I should return to some of these days. Hopefully I can remember to update both of these possibly three or four times a week. It should not be too hard; my weekends start at 3:30 on Thursdays and most of my classes are labs, so homework will rarely interfere on a major level.
(This constantly spinning advertisement on my buddy list is so angering me.)
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