My Right Shoe

So I hate tying my shoes. Instead I leave them on a single knot loosely so I can slide in and out easily. These are very comfortable shoes, mind you. They were my tennis shoes senior year of high school and as of last summer, they were promoted to the everyday shoes after their predecessors took a lot of wear and tear up north.

These shoes are loosing traction, and that makes it difficult this winter on Central's super icy sidewalks. The back of the heal is tearing past its first layer of shoe material from the walking in loosely tied shoes. But I would rather be comfortable with my shoes and leave them in these loosely tied single knots.

Why would I not double knot them? Well, I feel like double knotting is for people who are not secure with their shoes or themselves (yeah, that was so deep). Actually, I just never saw the need to double knot my shoes.

Until recently.

My right shoe has come untied numerous times this past month. It boggles the mind. Only the right shoe. I dislike it very much. I feel very out of whack having to lean down to retie the shoe, since in the past the shoes have held together so well.

It is an odd feeling tying my shoe, which goes with other odd feelings of doing something after a long break:
- Handwriting
- Guitar Hero
- Playing tennis
- Driving
- Insulting James (but boy does that feel good)
- Actually doing homework

Most upsetting though, is that it is my right shoe. I am predominantly a right handed person. I use my left brain more than the right anyway. If it were my left shoe, then I could exercise my right brain for a chance.

As I shoot the evil eye at my right shoe as I type, I can only sense when that jerk will come undone next; walking to class, climbing up stairs, randomly sitting down, it is not definite, but it will happen. And when it does, all I can do is curse the bugger and retie him tightly.

In a single knot. Using the bunny ear method.

UPDATE: My right shoe came untied the day after this post. I was climbing the stairs, as predicted.

Letters 2

Dear Slow Walker,

I put it frankly, but you walk incredibly slow. I know you are also going to class, whether it be you go alone or with your other slow walking friends. Pick up the pace. I am already running late, and I bet my class is farther away than yours. Neither of us will make it in time, thanks to your one step ever second and a half. This sidewalk is only wide enough for about two people anyway, and you manage to shoot straight down the middle making the pass on either side impossible. Also, do you have eyes in the back of your head?? You seem to always sway to the side which I attempt to make my move, but am ultimately cut off. My long legs cannot take this snail's pace any longer.

Dear pre-gaming girls next door who listen to hip-hop music and speaking loudly while the three of you are in the bathroom,

We are more disgusted by your lifestyle than the offenses against us. Your music is terrible. And it is terribly loud. On some days I can hear it from my bedroom; the problem is you are on the complete other side of our dorm room. It is also uncomfortable to hear you all carry on a pointless conversation while I am doing my business. Your pre-gaming sometimes just turns into the game itself and you fail to leave us in peace and quiet. Have you even wondered why we have never introduced ourselves to you despite the fact that you live right next door? I hardly agree with the sign on your door claiming that one of you is "the baddest." If that is true, Adonis therefore must be "the second baddest."

Dear 13-year-old Halo 3 gamer,

Enough with the profanity. You so effing pwned.