A tragic winter morning, tears were shed.
I felt a blend of panic and distress.
Confused, I stumbled drunk out of my bed
To see that my whole life was now a mess.
Alone in nothing but my underwear,
I feared that my whole memory was lost.
I wondered what the hell had happened there,
And tried to save my world, but at what cost?
I made a phone call that would scar my pride:
To complex minds who work with the IT.
They told me that my motherboard was fried,
And there was no chance at recovery.
This disaster was nothing that I planned,
A brand new computer will cost a grand!
This sonnet was inspired by the fact that, well, my laptop died. Written in my ENG 392 class, Creative Writing: Poetry, in February 2010. It is an English sonnet, written in iambic pentameter.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Twenty Questions
Who framed Roger Rabbit? And what’s the name
Of you left big toe? Who is buried in Grant’s tomb?
What’s new pussycat? Knock Knock. Who’s there?
What are you doing next Tuesday? What is your
Favorite flavor of ice cream? Boxers or briefs?
Do you have the time? Did it hurt – when you
Fell from Heaven? Blonde or Brunette?
Can you dig it? Who invented Post-It Notes?
What’s up? Going down? Need a lift?
What’s for dinner? Do you like fish sticks?
How can I miss you if you don’t go away?
How much dirt is in a hole with dimensions
2 feet by 3 feet by 7 feet?
Inspired by Maura Stanton’s Twenty Questions
Of you left big toe? Who is buried in Grant’s tomb?
What’s new pussycat? Knock Knock. Who’s there?
What are you doing next Tuesday? What is your
Favorite flavor of ice cream? Boxers or briefs?
Do you have the time? Did it hurt – when you
Fell from Heaven? Blonde or Brunette?
Can you dig it? Who invented Post-It Notes?
What’s up? Going down? Need a lift?
What’s for dinner? Do you like fish sticks?
How can I miss you if you don’t go away?
How much dirt is in a hole with dimensions
2 feet by 3 feet by 7 feet?
Inspired by Maura Stanton’s Twenty Questions
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Journey Poem
Hole 18. Par 5. 461 yards.
Almost on in two, but hooked left.
Who cares?
I don’t – I can’t.
The only number
That has any meaning is ((3)).
No more hazards.
I now stood there beneath the tree. Focused.
I could see the Field. I knew the
Line. I anticipated the
Break.
No more roughs.
There was a light breeze on this bright day.
But beneath the tree,
I was shaded.
The branches had blocked the sun and all
Distractions.
No fair way.
I could not think of anything else. The past 17 holes
Mean nothing. Gone were the sounds of success
(Whoosh, Ping, Oooh, Aaah, Thwump, Whack) and
Failure (Chick, Snap, Crunch, Kurplunk, Oh).
No score.
Hands gripped to the club. Feet on the ground.
Arms up and followed through. Textbook
Swing. The ball bounces and rolls.
And rolls.
And rolls.
And rolls off.
No chance.
That was the moment I saw the most beautiful spectacle fly away:
An Eagle
Almost on in two, but hooked left.
Who cares?
I don’t – I can’t.
The only number
That has any meaning is ((3)).
No more hazards.
I now stood there beneath the tree. Focused.
I could see the Field. I knew the
Line. I anticipated the
Break.
No more roughs.
There was a light breeze on this bright day.
But beneath the tree,
I was shaded.
The branches had blocked the sun and all
Distractions.
No fair way.
I could not think of anything else. The past 17 holes
Mean nothing. Gone were the sounds of success
(Whoosh, Ping, Oooh, Aaah, Thwump, Whack) and
Failure (Chick, Snap, Crunch, Kurplunk, Oh).
No score.
Hands gripped to the club. Feet on the ground.
Arms up and followed through. Textbook
Swing. The ball bounces and rolls.
And rolls.
And rolls.
And rolls off.
No chance.
That was the moment I saw the most beautiful spectacle fly away:
An Eagle
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Feature Snippet
Riding the bus to class is the preferred method for some CMU students who live off-campus, but not for Josh Allard.
“You cannot guarantee that the bus arrives on time, and that was a big problem for me,” the Troy Junior said. “My first busing experience was unpleasant: it was warm, crowded, and it arrived late. I was very unhappy.”
Allard instead chooses to drive himself to campus, saying for him it is more comfortable, convenient and reliable.
“I can come and go as I please,” he said. “I can make sure I get to class on time, and that was the reason I stopped taking the bus after day one.”
Allard does recognize that for some students, it is the best method to reach campus, saying that is will save gas and help the environment.
“It isn’t a terrible choice,” he said. “It is the efficient choice, but unfortunately for me, I found that it wasn’t.”
“You cannot guarantee that the bus arrives on time, and that was a big problem for me,” the Troy Junior said. “My first busing experience was unpleasant: it was warm, crowded, and it arrived late. I was very unhappy.”
Allard instead chooses to drive himself to campus, saying for him it is more comfortable, convenient and reliable.
“I can come and go as I please,” he said. “I can make sure I get to class on time, and that was the reason I stopped taking the bus after day one.”
Allard does recognize that for some students, it is the best method to reach campus, saying that is will save gas and help the environment.
“It isn’t a terrible choice,” he said. “It is the efficient choice, but unfortunately for me, I found that it wasn’t.”
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Food Fight!
The spectacular soup snapped;
It was a triumphantly tasty treat.
While the licorice was lashed,
Giggles and guffaws glorified.
We wafted wavy waffles like
Colossal firecrackers clashing.
The icy Mississippi pop was an
Axis of mustachioed mastication,
Clicking like clockwork across the crowd.
Gooey gum grew into a ginormous glue of
Double Bubble trouble.
An expanding explosion ensued.
It was a triumphantly tasty treat.
While the licorice was lashed,
Giggles and guffaws glorified.
We wafted wavy waffles like
Colossal firecrackers clashing.
The icy Mississippi pop was an
Axis of mustachioed mastication,
Clicking like clockwork across the crowd.
Gooey gum grew into a ginormous glue of
Double Bubble trouble.
An expanding explosion ensued.
Monday, September 8, 2008
Letters 4
Dear Guy Wearing an Athletic Headband as Part of His Outfit,
I am walking home from class at 10 AM, and there is no way that the temperature is out of the 50s. You cannot possibly be working up a sweat in this kind of weather; I am still cold wearing my jacket. It is not like you are wearing it over your ears to maybe keep them warm, and if you did, then that would be more reason to want to slap you in the face. In what way did you think wearing a headband would make you look presentable? You are walking to class, not to the SAC. Plus, you are skinnier than I am and in no way an athlete or even an occasional activity-doer.
Dear Girls Walking Slow... In the Rain,
Yet again, you take up the entire sidewalk and block me from passing you. But today is different. It is raining. I have no umbrella, unlike all three of you who use it to take up even more space on the sidewalk. I also am not wearing a jacket because it was not raining when I left for class and hoped for the best that it would not rain again. Mostly because I am wearing my freakin' sweet Quebec Nordiques t-shirt. MY FREAKIN' SWEET QUEBEC NORDIQUES T-SHIRT!!! IT'S BLUE AND HAS THE FLEUR DE LIS AROUND THE BOTTOM!!! This is not a shirt that I want to get wet. As soon as we get to a puddle, I'm splashing your bare feet. PS. Why are you wearing flip flops in the rain? You were smart enough to grab an umbrella but not put shoes on?
Dear Guy Playing the Air Drums While Listening to His iPod,
Oh man, I truly dig that beat. Even if you are completely out of tempo. Yes, I can tell.
I am walking home from class at 10 AM, and there is no way that the temperature is out of the 50s. You cannot possibly be working up a sweat in this kind of weather; I am still cold wearing my jacket. It is not like you are wearing it over your ears to maybe keep them warm, and if you did, then that would be more reason to want to slap you in the face. In what way did you think wearing a headband would make you look presentable? You are walking to class, not to the SAC. Plus, you are skinnier than I am and in no way an athlete or even an occasional activity-doer.
Dear Girls Walking Slow... In the Rain,
Yet again, you take up the entire sidewalk and block me from passing you. But today is different. It is raining. I have no umbrella, unlike all three of you who use it to take up even more space on the sidewalk. I also am not wearing a jacket because it was not raining when I left for class and hoped for the best that it would not rain again. Mostly because I am wearing my freakin' sweet Quebec Nordiques t-shirt. MY FREAKIN' SWEET QUEBEC NORDIQUES T-SHIRT!!! IT'S BLUE AND HAS THE FLEUR DE LIS AROUND THE BOTTOM!!! This is not a shirt that I want to get wet. As soon as we get to a puddle, I'm splashing your bare feet. PS. Why are you wearing flip flops in the rain? You were smart enough to grab an umbrella but not put shoes on?
Dear Guy Playing the Air Drums While Listening to His iPod,
Oh man, I truly dig that beat. Even if you are completely out of tempo. Yes, I can tell.
Friday, July 18, 2008
An Examination of a Phrase (1)
I put a "(1)" in front of this in hopes that I will do this more often.
The general format of these posts is to take a phrase, either everyday, commonly used or something i have heard somewhere at sometime. I will give some meanings behind it, and then examine the phrase from my perspective. Here we go.
"Today is Opposite Day"
Now, some days have claimed the title "Opposite Day," where things are done the exact opposite of what is the normal. Instead of saying "hello" while greeting somebody, you would say "goodbye." You would walk backwards instead of forwards. Wear your shoes on opposite feet. Etc.
Instance #1: Today really is Opposite Day
If that really is the case, then saying "Today is Opposite Day" has completely ruined the purpose of having an Opposite Day. In fact, saying "Today is Opposite Day" on Opposite Day means that it is NOT Opposite Day, and that either makes you a liar or creates a paradox. However, if saying that is IS Opposite Day on Opposite Day makes it not Opposite Day, then the statement immediately returns to its truthful state that today is Opposite Day after all. Whew.
Instance #2: Today is not Opposite Day after all
So saying "Today is Opposite Day" when it is not Opposite Day may be a trick into thinking that it is Opposite Day, and thus believing that it is Opposite Day can in fact make it Opposite Day. Here is the kicker though, saying "Today is Opposite Day" on a non-Opposite Day day can in fact mean that it is Opposite Day by jumping through all sorts of hoops that can only be understood through a vast diagram of scenarios (of which I am too lazy to plot out, but maybe someday).
After this long winded examination of the phrase "Today is Opposite Day," I have deduced that there is no Opposite Day at all; it is impossible. Sorry to kill all the fun, but if you ever celebrate Opposite Day, just know that you are living a lie.
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